Needing to Breathe

I woke up this morning and put my saliva sample on the microscope lens, then went to my computer for a spell and do an ab exercise. I couldn't believe all the ferns I saw when I put it to my eye! They weren't overlapping like a jungle, but they were everywhere. It was a HUGE increase from the previous observations 24 hours before. I also had some wet CM today. So, my next guess is that when I see this type of ferning pattern, I'm at the start of my fertile window.

I came out of the bathroom with it, and DH was lying in bed, slowly waking up. I asked if he wanted to see it, and he thought it was cool. He said it looked like a type of corrosion caused by a fungus that he often saw on his helicopters in the Navy. I then tried to plant the idea in his head that we should BD before work because LOOK @ those FERNS!! I got shot down. Bad. Worse thing is that I can't do anything about it.

DH has a very balanced cocktail of 3-4 medications that he has to take in order for him to function properly. By 'function properly' I mean not have seizure-like anxiety attacks, fall and stay asleep, and have strong cognitive abilities. Without his medications, if he's stressed, he gets a debilitating headache and even loses his ability to communicate. Without one particular medicine that he takes at night, his body has an extremely difficult time falling and staying asleep. Well, he got all his refills minus the KO medicine, so he only had three hours of not-so-good sleep. Plus, just the stress of not having his medicine was starting to affect him. It was exactly 4 weeks ago when he last had an issue with his medications, and it was pretty disastrous. So, he tells me that he's hurting to just keep himself together, and that BDing in the morning and tonight would be out of the question. Like an arrow right through the heart of this eager TTC woman. *sigh

All day I thought about how important it was not to pout because I wasn't going to BD on this very monumentous day in my little world, and instead focus on my husband's needs. I texted him and wanted to make sure that he was doing ok. I even told him that if his medicine arrived when we got home, if he wanted to take it right away and just pass out for the evening/night, I wouldn't be upset.

This situation made me feel like a little girl doing the potty dance except I was trying to mentally keep my ovaries from ovulating. Stay in there. Don't come out yet. I don't have any of the "kissing fish" I promised you (yeah, I told my ovaries that I would get the egg(s) a bunch of "kissing fish," little swimming wiggly creatures that will kiss them all over). I thought I felt a few twinges here and there, but I'm honestly expecting full out ovulation pains that will make me be on the brink of tears because that was how it was the last time I went off of BC in November 2010. CD16 was painful!

I forgot to bring an OPK to test on my lunch break. DH was driving me to work and we were about halfway there when I remembered. Dang!! You best believe I ran through the door and went straight towards our master bathroom when I got home though. Nothing was going to deter me from POAS!

Then I saw the line. Pathetically not any darker than last night's 9:15 line. *sigh Then I started to worry. Could I have missed the surge in that 20 hour window??? How much time should it take between getting that awesome ferning to a + OPK?? Questions, question, questions.

As Sleuth Sarah, her's what I think is happening. I believe I am at the beginning of my fertile window. I do not think I have ovulated yet. I hope to see more fertile CM over the next three days at least. I am going to take another test at 10:30pm, and another one at 7:15 tomorrow morning. I expect to see a ferning pattern similar if not more dense than what I saw this morning. DH said that he's going to the VA tomorrow to get "emergency rations" of his KO medicine. BDing may be out of the question tomorrow as well. Please Ovaries, give me at least 2 more days before making the drop!!!